some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
