the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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