i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
