How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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