no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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