So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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