He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
please don't ironically join a cult
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