Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
