ADVERTISEMENT

• (469): View more from Texas

  Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.

  Fav 10 3036 971

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.

  Fav 23 1383 4206

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.

  Fav 3 1856 831

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of

  Fav 4 907 512

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down

  Fav 2 1153 638

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything

  Fav 0 671 448

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (917): View more from New York City

  don't judge my taste in strippers

  Fav 2 776 609

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.

  Fav 2 487 355

  share tweet
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face

  Fav 0 328 416

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.

  Fav 0 183 122

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.

  Fav 1 32 36

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (727): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.

  Fav 0 24 39

  share tweet
  

• (778): View more from British Columbia

  that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  fuck you.

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  DO NOT LOSE IT

  Fav 0 38 7

  share tweet
  

• (270): View more from Kentucky

  She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night

  Fav 0 10 51

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (407): View more from Florida

  Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it

  Fav 0 58 12

  share tweet
  

Randomize