so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
