Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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