i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
