But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
