well I can't set my house on fire every night
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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