Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
