Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
