She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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