Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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