hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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