Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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