she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
