You made me cry and you don't even care
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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