So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
