I think I am morally bankrupt
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
