how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
