hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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