yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize