it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
