Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
