I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Let's get the cat blown out
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
