I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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