Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
