Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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