my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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