All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i already hear my dad disowning me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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