i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
