I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize