end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
