in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Bring me that man meat
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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