Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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