Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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