BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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