you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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