I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
