My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
