Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
