she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
