Having a random hookup so left but love u
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
