is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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