Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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