She is in my trunk
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
