census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
