I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
