And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
