Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
